Friday, January 2, 2009

Fucking Agreement

Hi Gals;

At the beginning of December, Claudia & I were talking on the phone. I was lamenting my health & physical status (poor Claudia! I was so sick & feverish and my brain was not in forward gear); and that there was almost nobody that I could talk to about my situation as a whole. Yes, we all are wonderful friends and you are there for me through thick & thin (bad pun), sickness & health, and even when my brain short-circuits and I say and do things I wish I hadn't. But the truth is that we live in far-flung corners of the country and come together only rarely. We've all faced individual challenges in the past year, really bad ones, and we are all - to varying degrees - struggling with out weight (again).

It's gotten harder for us to talk about it. We used to be in almost the same weight category and are not anymore. How can I complain about my seven pounds and the struggles I am having when some of us are dealing with so much more. And my own feeling is that those of us who are dealing with more don't feel as free talking to me either.

Anyway, Claudia & I were talking about it in early December. We're both at roughly the same weight gain number. And we're both dealing with health issues (given they're vastly different) that are restricting our ability to be out and about. We're struggling, hard, and at least I felt that because we were not dealing with such large numbers, our struggles were being largely discounted. Just like how all of us used to roll our eyes when our chronically thin friends would complain about being "fat."

So Claudia & I decided to make an agreement for the month of December. What we ended up coining as the "Fucking Agreement." It was simple. That we would do our very best to eat healthy for the month. That was it.

For me, it helped. A lot. You know how December is. Even as I was not getting out much, temptation was thrown in my path. If you read my blog, you know about the agony-of-the-brownies delivered to my front door. There was more, too. Mostly I didn't share. But because of the agreement I made with Claudia, I always thought hard before I transgressed.

Claudia & I just decided to extend the agreement into this month. Yes, January, when all eyes are focused on dieting. Claudia blogged about it today, and Angie asked if she could join us. Of course she can!

Then I got an e-mail from Vennie, who has just purged her home of contraband. I also talked to Beth a couple of nights ago, and her intent was to start to get back on track in January, without ( and Beth, I repeat WITHOUT ) putting pressure on herself that will bring her eating disorders back into play. I saw how Becky posted about her struggles in Richard's Forum .

So now I am making it official. Asking if any of you want to join Claudia & I in the "Fucking Agreement?" The rules are simple.

There are no rules. There is no specific program. Just make the very best food decisions for yourself that you can for the month of January. You can talk about it if you want - or not. You can confess if you want - or not. You can be completely silent if you prefer. But if you decide to join us, mean it.

Anybody want to play?

Love,

Laura

PS - I've been on double-strength antibiotics for 36 hours now. I was able to sit up for several hours in a row today. Progress?

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