Monday, January 5, 2009

Comfort Zone

I'm down -4.4 lbs. and this morning after getting on the scale a huge wave of anxiety came over me. This is where I've F*ing up for the last 7 months. I get near this number and suddenly I binge and go up..I've lost the same 10 lbs for the last 7 months..

Do you realize that when I called Richard in July I was down 85 lbs and had 15 to go to the hundred pound marker? And today I am still 17 lbs away from that 100 lb marker.

I've never posted my weight before in this public forum. I did in the clubhouse but that came off after some nasty PM's came my way.. Maybe it's shame, maybe I'm just too mortified. Maybe I'm afraid it's used against me.

I've thought about this group and how much you have meant to me this last year. How you supported me when we didn't know what was going on with me medically, and how you've been there for my moral, when I have bad days with Gram or Gramps. This group without trying has encouraged me to try new things, step out of my comfort zone and live. It was all good things I assure you. So here goes.

Today I stepped on the scale..The numbers read: 242 lbs. There I said it, typed it and soon it will be published. Maybe now I can heal and get past this part.

I will make the best choices I can these next couple of weeks and pray that I can work through this. I will work through this and finally get into the 230's.


  1. Hey Ang,

    I'm sure you will make your goal a reality. Keep up the great work.

  2. It's a new year, and time for a new reality and a fresh start.

    Just honor the agreement. You don't have to be perfect. The numbers will follow.

    It was brave of you to post the number. You won't get any flack here, and if I've set this blog up the way I think I have, no feedback other than from us either. And trust me, we-all understand.