Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Not feeling like myself

My weight is up and my exercise is non-existent. I have been feeling like crap lately and my energy level is screwed. My doctor upped my blood pressure medicine and has also added some cholesterol meds too. I just don't feel right. My blood pressure has been all over the map. First up, then down, then up and then way down. I have a call into my doctor. Maybe we will screw around with my meds.

Laura asked if anyone was in this fucking agreement anymore and I guess that's my cue to get back in. I just wish I felt better.

My weight this morning is 155.5 OMG!!


  1. My invite ran out to post so I hope I can still comment here......Claudia, I hope you get your b.p. & cholesterol under control. They lead to heart attacks and for women, the signs are different than for men. I too am feeling like shit due to suicide by binge. I am killing myself with my own fork, I know it yet I cant stop it. How sick is that? My life is so stressed right now and I have aches and pains like when I was at my highest weight. I know it will only get worst yet.... sigh.
    I miss you all and I just wanted to touch base and tell you all that. Im sorry I dont contribute but Im so lost in my pain I feel I cant contribute anything positive right now but I do check here everyday about you all....

  2. ((Becky))

    Yeah, I'm doing my best to get myself together. I hope you do too. I'm sorry to hear things are so bad for you. You know, there are no rules here that say that you have to be positive. You just have to agree to do the best you can. Can you do that?

    Love ya,

  3. No, I dont think I can. My "best" is not anywhere near my old way of living. The healthy way I meant. Im so robotic in my actions and so childish in my wants that I know I dont want to make promises I know I cant keep right now. Im afraid I would post disapointment after disapointment. I dont think thats what the f@#$ing agreement is about.
    love ya

  4. (((Claudia))) - Right now you're dealing with issues of health and medicine balancing. Hang tight and just remember the agreement. You'll get back again.

    (((Becky))) - You don't think that you're doing the best you can right now? I think you are. You can't continue to measure what you're doing in the moment against what was possible in the past. Live for now. Work towards tomorrow. Let bygones be bygones.

    I'll figure out how to send you a new invitation to post tomorrow.